Morals, Ethics and being vegetarian

I was told today by a practicing Buddhist that being vegetarian/vegan is being an extremist...
And vegetarianism / veganism is a marketed hype and we are being drawn in by the trend..
The points made were.... that
➡once a being is killed, which has already taken place by the time it reach our plates, it has lost the value as a being and there is no difference than that and a potato...
and your choice doesn't really make an impact on the process that has already taken place...
and there's no sin of eating such nor merit of avoiding it as well...
➡it's all in our mind that particular dish is from a being.. and we shouldn't worry about it as it's beyond our control...
➡since there are many insects involved and killed by pesticides and by other means during the process of plant product preparation ....... are we gong to avoid the use of that as well?
➡since we can not prevent all the killings that take place for food, there is no point in one person becoming a extremist rebel by refusing animal products
➡it's all to do with craving and we can be buying a pumpkin with the same craving as we buy an animal product
➡and it has nothing to do with Buddhas original teaching and it's just a marketed trend

And I ask her that how come you consciously choose a animal product and select and buy it when you have a choice of selecting otherwise, knowing the process that go through the factory farming...beings born and bread ...force-fed just for our food...
And the response I got is ..we shouldn't think that far and it's all in our mind...

I agree that once you've achieved a certain state of understanding, that you won't feel a difference in any food item and you'd be eating just to keep the body alive and healthy ... nothing more nothing less...

But, before that, most of what we eat are to please our mind, rather than keeping with the needs of the physical body..
So, consciously making a choice to choose non animal products whenever one can, to the best of the options that are made available to you in terms of your health and wellbeing, makes the best practice that seems to resonate with my concioisness.....

But I declined from the argument as I saw no point in trying to convince that to another who holds a different view... and mind you, this is a well educated friend of mine, who practice meditation as well as reads a lot into Buddhist scripture...

My personal idea is that, a practicing Buddhist, Being vegetarian / vegan or non vegetarian is a conscious personal choice... and being in either categeary itself doesn't make you a better being altogether...than the other...
I myself is not a strict vegetarian all the time... but I try to be most of the time...

I can not fathom the possibility of a noble man who told this to the world as a core value, will be petty enough to curtail that compassion in to the account balance of sin and merit... for me he holds a better and bigger place than the account balancer......

“A mother, even at the risk of her own life, protects her child, her only child.
In the same way should you cultivate love without measure toward all beings.
You should cultivate toward the whole world – above, below, around – a heart of love unstinted, unmixed with any sense of differing or opposing interests.
You should maintain this mindfulness all the time you are awake.
Such a state of heart is the best in the world.”
– Buddha, Majjhima Nikaya

If we keep aside the philosophy of sin and merit of killing, i don't have any arguments with that....
What I am asking is... if given the choice, what would you consciously choose?
The stolen good (which you know is stolen) or the good from the manufacturer ?

 For me This has nothing to do with sin/ merit account balance...
It's all to do with the consciousness of knowing the suffering of another being And despite that accepting that it's fine to indulge my tastebuds at the stake of another's life
A practice beyond survival and health...

It's ethics... same as ethical tea... fair trade ... ethical clothing...
And I try to adhere to that whenever I can...

P.s. I'm not that rich to adhere to all those choices all the time, but I try what I can... no animal should die or should've died for the sake of my craving and taste buds...


Any thoughts on this matter?


https://youtu.be/UjbHC0Z2SWw

I agree with this honorable theros' disclosure in the monastic context and in a the context of a person who've lost all lust and craving..who does not crave one or the other.. and eat what is given or made available without a choice, for the mere maintenance of the physical body..

But in the context of lay...
if you are given a choice to choose between two materials... one sold by the manufacturer and the other by a seller who has stolen it from another source, being aware of the theft that took place, what would you consciously choose?
What would you choose when you are aware that a life has been stolen to give the product to you?

This is apart from the facts of acquiring credits to your merit or sin account... that kept aside, what would be your conscious choice?

I agree with the food chains in the natural world that it is the work of kamma... the nature..

But when it comes to factory farming and the consumer chain where the animals are artificially fertilized, born and bred for human food, and the consumer chain that supports it, I fail to see, that it's the mere work of nature or kamma.. ... it's your conscious decision that triggers the chain of events...
If you keep aside sin/ merit account balance totally, can you consciously choose the stolen goods/lives?

And if we are to accept every death to the work of kamma and nature... and do nothing about that, saying they'd anyway die due to their kamma.... you indirectly accepts the massacres...the holocaust... the killings... the wars... and everything else... and fails to do anything about it...
It's true that there is minimum that we can do in events of such large scale...
but we can start with what we can...
Be aware and make a  conscious choice...